Wow, it's been a really long time since I've done one of these, but in the last couple hours, I have come across some kind of internet magic and I need to get it out there to breathe. Or whatevs.
Thing one comes from Andrew Zimmern, he of the Bizarre Foods. On one side, he gets paid to travel wherever the hell he wants for some free food. On the other hand, he has to watch a 5 year old kid get circumsized then face the very real possibility that he might have to eat that kid's foreskin. Yeah. No joke. From his HuffPost article:
We have been spending the weekend with a family that is celebrating the ritual circumcision of a 5 year old boy. Don't ask...that's just when they do it.
What's really irksome is the idea that traditionally the paternal grandfather eats the foreskin after its been snipped and while that concept is strange enough, sitting in a room 5 feet away from him I realize that he doesn't have to eat it himself, he can give it away to anyone else in the room as long as they hold an honored position at the event. So while the boys dad is out in the street unable to watch at all, I on the other hand am right in front of grandpa with a sign on my head that says HONORED GUEST in big red neon.
All I can say is this: that is some messed up shit, Zimmern. Did he eat it? Did he?! DID HE?!?! No, but you can read that story part if you click on that link up there.
Thing two (are you liking my Seuss references as much as I am? I even snuck one into A.Z.'s article!) comes from someecards, which is a pretty fun site that I found via the magic Twitter machine. True story. Anyway, they post things other than ecards every once in a while, and on this occasion, they posted a ridiculous craigslist ad, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Here's the link, but I am going to share my most favorite parts here with you right now on this very page:
Things I Will Do For $5:
Stare at you for 5 minutes
Give a hug to the person of your choosing
Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes
Draw your face on a balloon
Sing Barenaked Ladies' "One Week" from memory to the best of my ability
6 minutes of copywriting...
Things I Will Do For $1,000:
Host an event (will not host anything racially insensitive, i.e. human being auction)
Give a PowerPoint presentation on team building to your business and/or extended family
Rename your children
Build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it
Star treatment for a month (I'll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)
20 hours of copywriting...
*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like "Oh, after you're done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?" but the lemonade means sex, mostly.
Legendary Murdersteal! But seriously, if I had any Pokemon, I'd let this Travis kid rename them. Why not, right?
Quick Snips:
This Yoga Sequence Builder is pretty rad. Only problem is there's no attached A/V file with each pose that will tell you how to do it in the voice of an actual yoga instructor (note: this exists nowhere) so you either have to take your homemade yoga class form a piece of paper or memorize it.
American cartoonist Nina Paley adapted the Ramayana and illustrated it into a big movie all on her own. It's a pretty impressive piece, although I found that I was not liking the song thing by the mid point and my favorite parts were the ones with the shadow puppet Indian people trying ot remember exactly how their epic poem went. Here is a still:
The movie is free to watch and download and distribute, and there's a big struggle-story there that you can read about if you are so inclined on her website
0 comments: on "Notes from the Interground, p.3"
Post a Comment